To My Sweet Little One...

My Strong Little One Growing Safe Inside Me,

This has been a very long and difficult week. I have been seen either by the Doctor or the hospital at least once each day. Yesterday was the hardest day of them all. I thought I had lost you. I had been feeling much better for almost a day and then I started to bleed. I thought for sure with those two things, that you were gone. The hardest part was to tell your Daddy, he was crushed, he has been so excited about you, and doesn't mind a bit taking care of me until you arrive. Mama has such a wonderful team of doctors that worked quickly to see what was going on. One of the Doctors even brought us in to a part of the hospital that was closed for the weekend in order to find out if you were still growing safely. Jesus has just prepared everything we have needed before we even need it. The Dr made sure to let us know quickly how you were, and to our amazement, there was your tiny heart just beating away. She let us just watch you for awhile. What a miracle you are! What fun it will be to bring you to meet all of the doctors and nurses that have rallied around Dad and I during this time and have shown such compassion. We are blessed.

Your Grandma Lois rushed out Wednesday evening to help me and your brothers and sisters. She took all of them home with her for awhile except for Your oldest brother Cole, who wanted to stay and help me here. I am so thankful for her and all the help. Couldn't make it through without her. I miss them all though, but know they are doing well without having to worry through all of these adjustments being made here at home.

I can't wait until next Christmas, when you are here with us. What a celebration that will be!! With all my love sweet little one, Mama

To My Sweet Little One...

Sweet Little One growing inside me, I have dreamed of you forever but never knew I would have the chance to meet you someday. You are the seventh child I always wanted. You have 2 charming brothers and 3 beautiful sisters, and one sibling in the arms of Jesus we look forward to meeting some day together, all of us. There is so much I want to tell you and your brothers and sisters. See, I get really sick in order to bring you into this world. I have always dreamed of waiting for my babes with energy and health, but Jesus just made me different, and I trust Him for this even when it makes me really sad. Today has been a hard day, and I know that it is not going to change for quite awhile. I was feeling really scared about the days ahead, I was not wanting your brothers and sisters to struggle and feel alone because I am sick, and Jesus whispered an idea in my heart. You are so small right now, I cannot feel you kicking yet, the 34 weeks until you get here seem so far away, and sometimes it is hard to remember what the suffering is for, so I thought that if I write you and let you know how much you are loved, then maybe that hope will continue to help these days pass.

I heard your heartbeat yesterday for the first time, I was overwhelmed at the sound. No matter how many times I have had a child growing in me, it never becomes ordinary or common, it is truly amazing, and there is an instant and unexplainable love that comes from hearing your tiny little heart beating. God is forming you and knows all of your days already and He is protecting you from the storm waging outside my womb. I know He has a plan for you and I am the tool to bring you life, so I have no question of the worth in the pain. I do wish for deliverance from it often and do get discouraged and even wonder why the suffering is necessary, but I know He is in control and with me through it.

We are anxious to meet you, the days will not go fast enough. We are so grateful to the Lord for the gift of your life. Love Your Mama