The Injustice....

Something happened today to me, something that was completely unjust, and I wanted to share where it took my thoughts. I want to share this because I know that all of us face injustice in some form or another and it can begin to eat us alive, the anger that can creep in can be so much more harmful than the injustice itself. For a moment, I saw myself heading down that road until I caught a glimpse of something in my house, something that I recently acquired while away for my anniversary, these precious little ordinary objects brought my eyes back to the One who my focus needs to be on, and it has helped me to begin to let go of the injustice.

This morning, Matt and I left early to go spend some time at the hospital with my Grandmother, who at 82 just had her appendix out!! After that I ran a quick errand on the way home and got home in time to feed the kids lunch. After lunch I needed to make up some large dishes of lasagna to feed some bands coming in to play at church tonight for our Sr Highers. I headed back out the door to drop them off at church and was very much looking forward to returning home and spending some quality time with my kiddos-the week has been busy and emotional and I just really needed to take a good long look at the kids and love on them, but on the way home, something happened. As I was sitting at a light, all of the sudden I got smacked from behind, talk about waking me up! And as I turned to see what happened, I see this young woman, on the phone , pull around me, blow past me and run the light to get away. And she did, there was nothing I could do, the light was red and there was not a single thing I could do but watch her drive off, scott free from any responsability or consequence! And trust me, I attempted to drive for awhile in the direction she went, hoping to get her plate number, I kept playing the event over and over trying to remember her license plate number, wishing I had taken a picture with my phone, on and on. Those thoughts played over and over to the beating of my wild heart:) I was not far from home, so I just went home to survey the damage. She had busted out my brake lights, and left a lovely reminder of the color of her car permenantely etched in mine. After spending time on the phone with my husband, police dept, and insurance company, I could take a breath and think. But I will have to go in and file a report in the morning, and I will be without a vehicle until we can figure out how to fix the brake lights, and one way or another we will have to physically pay for the damage she has done to our van. So, with all of that, what word do you think keeps running across my lips, my mind, my angry heart....INJUSTICE. This is just so unjust so unfair!! Why in the world should I have to pay for someone elses mistake, fault, sin-evilness----sigh. It could drive a person looney thinking on that too long and I can bet many of you have faced things like that or worse that have left you feeling just beaten down by the injustices you have been dealt in life.

But, I really hate when anger begins to raise the temp of my body so a good cry can do so much in releasing that but only temporarily, soon the frustration comes knocking on my mind again, and I allow thoughts to repeat like a broken record, even if there never is a good result. I began to think alright, Lord, what is it you need to teach me, what is it that will make this ache, this hurt, this anger fade. And with that running across my mind, I caught a glimpse of something precious to me. Something that already has become a reminder of grace and mercy in my life. it was this.

A pair of rusty, weathered, crude, iron spikes. They are meant to serve as a reminder of the most important event that has ever occured in our world's history. They are a reminder of the "INJUSTICE" that Jesus faced when He died carrying the sins of every person on this earth in order to save us from an eternity apart from Him. Can you even begin to imagine taking on the horrifying torment that He took on when He was nailed to the cross-and He knew no sin!!! He was in no way responsible-He was perfect, pure, righteous-something none of us can ever claim! And on top of that He did it willingly. Well...when I began to wrap my thoughts around that, when I choose to stop pondering on the poor me and start pondering on the gift I was handed freely by the God who created EVERYTHING and wants me as His daughter, wants to make me pure...well, the "injustice" I faced today seems pretty silly in comparison! And honestly it feels pretty good to just let it go(and I am going to attempt to keep all of that at the front of my brain when I pull out my checkbook to pay for the damages:)LOL)

And even beyond that, there is a verse that came to mind-which I believe is exactly why the Lord wants us to "hide His Word in our heart." It is from the Lord's Prayer-Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. He expects us to do the same as He has done. So if He can forgive us-I think I should be willing to forgive as well-and I am working on that one:) Looking forward to the peace it will bring. And I will sleep more soundly tonight knowing that He wanted to teach me today of Himself and that I have been offered a priceless gift despite the "injustice" of what my sin cost Him.

Those nails or spikes in the photo, were found on Matt and I's Anniversary get away last week. We spent some time treasure hunting in antique and thrift stores on our way up to the cabin. I found these buried under some junk. A dollar a piece but to me worth gold. They appear to be old railroad spikes, but immediately when I came across them, I thought of Jesus-what cruelty to have your hands and feet nailed to a tree. When I showed them to the kids, knowing full well they would be a priceless object lesson, Joslyn said, oh, it makes my tummy hurt to think of that going through Jesus' hands and feet. I have laid these spikes out for us to see everyday as we pass through the living room. The kids cannot help but to pick them up and feel them, study them, and it always brings up questions of Jesus. I feel as though it is the best and closest thing next to feeling Jesus' actual wounds. I love those nails deeply, and I think they would be the first thing I would grab if our house were on fire, because I need that reminder every day, every hour, every minute!

What I am Reading Right Now...

I have never taken the time to share about the books I am reading, mostly because I am not a "book" person most of the time. It is hard for me to sit still, calm my mind enough to focus on a book for any length of time. Sometimes it comes from reading so much for schooling our kids as well, it makes me anxious to work with my hands which seems to be almost nessasary for me to function, BUT! All that said, I thought through what I was reading recently and I guess, I am actually kind of a book person considering the list I have right now. Here is what I am reading and why.

The first is "Everyday Talk" by John Younts. i am going through this with a close mom friend that I am mentoring (although I think I learn more from her)! It, if anything, is a strong reminder of how much our everyday speech(conversations, frustrations, murmurrings, questions, discipline, etc)effects our children's world view of God. Convicting! For myself, it has helped me to take a breather before I talk without thinking first.

This book is beautifully done. It is the story of Ruth told in a poetic form from the perspective of Obed sharing with his Grandson David about the life of his great grandmother Ruth. I have been reading this to the kids when we are around the table off and on. Love love love it!

I am reading this book with Joslyn for school. Joslyn will read a few pages and then I will read a few. It is a book telling about 10 women that have changed the world. Godly examples of women who loved the Lord. Among them are women such as Isobel Kuhn, Amy Carmichael, and Corrie ten Boom(of course). Causes Josie to ask questions and begin to see the joy that comes from serving the Lord with our whole lives. There are others in this collection for girls and boys.

Desiring God is my "brain hurts" type of study but in a good way. This one I spend a good amount of time flipping back and forth through scripture with. This is one I do later at night when the house is completely quiet. It takes all my focus, and allows me to pray while I listen( I am doing this with the audio version so I can hear and read. I listen to it in the car as well. This is my challenge right now.

This is a book we are reading as a family. it is one of the books written about the life of Corrie ten Boom. I want the kids to have a real eye opening view of the holocaust and about what Jews and Christians went through during this time. Corrie ten Boom has a way of connecting with young and old and a way of applying the living Word of God to everyday life. Awesome!

And this one is my favorite and will most likely remain in my top of all time. It is another book by Corrie ten Boom called "Not Good If Detached". It is almost like a journal of hers, each chapter is a conversation or experience she had while traveling around the globe sharing the gospel after being freed from the consentration camp. This book goes everywhere with me, it is always in my purse, and I have read and reread this book multiple times. It has caused me to treasure Jesus so much more in my own life, it has so often given me clarity on situations in my own life and the scripture that applies. It is a most precious gift and get this, it was nestled and hidden away on a shelf of books in a little thrift shop up in MN that my mother in law took me to. We got stranded at this shop due to a violent storm that came through, so unlike my normal visits to thrift shops, I had time to leaf through the books. This tiny little beat up book captured my attention immediately. The title actually made me think of the verse in John 15:5

I am the vine, you are the branches, he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me, you can do nothing.

And after that thought crossed my mind , I looked down and saw "Corrie ten Boom" And I thought, well, of course. God had sent that storm just for me and had hidden that little book away just for me, knowing my heart and mind, knowing even the little details of what catches my attention -old and worn objects overlooked and overloved. I am now on a mission to track down as many copies of this book that I can so that I can give them away to friends, family, and students.

So for now, those are what is on the reading list. I will make sure to share a few more of my favorites sometime soon.

Here's the Scoop...

This week started out with joy....

I was able to sit through the service again this week at church. It has been difficult being anywhere that I needed to keep quiet. The fall allergies seem to go straight to my chest and I end up with this nagging and irritating cough that can be quite disturbing. But it has been a blessing to have an evening service, since mornings seem to be my worst time. Our Pastor preached from Romans 12 on forgiveness and shared about my ultimate hero Corrie ten Boom who was a survivor of the Holocaust. It was neat to hear again of one of her amazing stories of how the Lord had given her the strength to forgive those who had hurt her and her family so deeply. She always says that when the Lord asks her to do something really hard, He is also the one who supplies whatever she needs to do it. She is just the vessel that has to be willing to allow Him to work through. Well, I have been pondering this for awhile now and it seems like the sermon Sunday confirmed I should do this. I have wanted to start doing a post at least once a week called Coffee with Corrie. Her books have become so precious to me because her love for the Lord was so genuine. I just have not found to right words to express to impact she has had on my own faith in Jesus. So I thought, little bits may be a good way to start. So, hopefully next week when I am back from a trip to MN, I will begin my posts of Coffee with Corrie.

Then Monday morning I was blessed to start the day having coffee and going thrifting with a precious friend who has brought such healing to my own life, someone who has brought closure to a very lonely period in my life. A friend who has made me finally feel like I am home after having lived here for 8 years. Only the Lord could have orchestrated this friendship, and He has used it to awaken areas in my life that I had forgotten about and had almost begun to believe were unnecessary. It has been a friendship that has had the depth of a kindred faith in Jesus, but the laughter of just being girls, we have been able to share and be challenged as moms, and confide and relate as youth pastor's wives. It is a timely and precious gift from the Lord.

Monday evening brought more joy as Matt and I took Joslyn on a date. With having five kiddos-I have shared before, that we enjoy taking time out of the normal routines and" seventh heaven" to have the one on one time with each of our kids. We used to do dates that was just Matt and one of the kids or me and one of the kids because hiring a babysitter was just not something we could afford very often. But now with a child old enough to babysit, we have been able to begin taking each of the kids with both of us and that has been very fun! So Matt and i took Joslyn to see The Legend of the Guardians. We took her last night and I think there were maybe 5 cars in the parking lot-it was awesome! We told her we rented out the entire theater just for her(she knew we were kidding) But it felt pretty special to have the whole place to ourselves. Just the 3 of us in a mega 3D theater. the movie was magical and beautifully made and it fit Joslyn's personality.

After tucking her in and the other kiddos who were still awake when we returned home, I sat down to check a few things. And the week turned to sadness. The last day and a half I have spent much of my time reconnecting with old friends from college and sharing any updates I had received. A friend of Matt and I's from college was in a devastating accident with an over sized semi yesterday afternoon. The accident had shut down the highway in MN where it had taken place, for many hours. Kris had been airlifted to Mayo even though it was only 20 miles from where it had happened due to how critical time was for the injuries she had sustained. She was in surgery for over 8 hours before she was stable. Her injuries from what I have been told will require multiple reconstructive surgeries. Her sister Beth told me she is very broken and will have a long road to recovery. Kris and James have 5 young children the ages of our kiddos, I am sure this is very hard on them as well. But one thing that has just stirred my soul has been the countless amounts of old friends, family, and even more that do not even know them that have risen up in prayer for them.

BUT! She is alive,

it is a miracle,

and all of us are so very grateful that she is still here!

Praise the Lord!

And

the

week

turned

to

REJOICING again!

I am hoping I will be able to see her this weekend while at a conference in MN.

On a creative note, I have been working on some new designs for my mittens. I have a special order I am putting together. Sunday night after everyone was tucked in bed, I spent some time playing with colors and designs and here are some that I have come up with. I have only gotten the front panels finished thus far.

Now to bring them to life with picking out the contrasting colors for the palm and thumb and maybe some fun little surprises for the linings. My beloved linens are now going to have to share my attention with this crazy fascination with felted wool. No worries, my cutting mat with still have lines worn at the precious measurements of 18 and 22 inches for my bed linen fat quarter followers. I will remain loyal to the saving of as many reclaimed bed linens as possible-But I am also going to rescue wool sweaters too-I MUST! Haha.

Blessings to all of you this week-may the Lord bless each day and may you see His gifts and thank Him, He loves you enough to have died for YOU!

THE MANY SIDES OF LIFE...

So lovelies this is where I am going to begin, I am going to address the many sides of my life in hopes that I will connect with you in some way. We all wear so many hats and isn't that actually such a blessing!? What a wonderful gift to have such a variety in our lives. I think this will be the best way to tell my story over the last few months.

HOSTESS- This past Thanksgiving we were so excited to have Matt's family come and stay for a few days. I absolutely love having house guests! But as our family grew and our house shrunk, it can be a bit interesting:) Let's just say, I deeply appreciate having a family who loves us enough to put up with 11 of us sharing one bathroom, cozying up at the dinner table since we have no dining area or room, and bunking with the kids. It blesses me immensely to be able to host others in our home. I love the busy kitchen as we prepare the meal! Matt and I have set our hopes on taking down the wall between our kitchen and living room so that we are not so separated during the preparation of a meal. the kitchen is just too tiny to have everyone gathered around the table and since we do not get together often, it would be nice to have more time to connect as we work. So, we are praying about that. The picture is of how we manage everyone at dinner when we have guests. We haul out half of our furniture to the garage and bring in a long table to seat everyone. Hey it works! I have even heard my Grandma tell others "She certainly knows how to make great use of her small space":)

PAINTER~
I used to run out and buy a gallon of paint, paint a room, and have it all back together again in one day. But somewhere along the way, I began stalling and not making a decision on a new color for months. Where did the fear come from! Although maybe it is more that I have way too many styles I like, some real furniture to consider and a whole lot more kiddos than I did in those days! Paint used to be the ONLY decoration:)Anyways! I finally made a decision to paint our living room in a burnt orange-whoa-and that was a complete flip from the shabby chic robin's egg it was for the last 3 years! But that color just popped in my mind and I couldn't get rid of it! So, we bought the paint one weekend before Thanksgiving and started bright and early Saturday morning. I do not think I have ever experienced such terror as I painted.Oh my goodness~ I actually contemplated sitting down in the middle of the floor to cry.And I just about quit within the first hour. It was my husband , who originally wasn't too sure of the color but trusted me(what was he thinking!),that ended up being the one who said-"I REALLY LIKE IT, LET'S KEEP GOING!" I cannot tell you how heavy that paint brush felt and how much I was grieving my pretty blue walls! Usually I am just drooling over a new color I am putting up, so this was definitely an interesting experience. I did know, it is only paint and can be redone, but I think I was mad that it would be wasted time. there are so many more important things to do with my time than to repaint over a bad decision! Some friends even dropped by unexpected and I almost considered pawning off the color decision onto Matt-NICE, I KNOW! haha. But-we did finish, and it did take awhile, especially when halloween was right around the corner and all I could see was a big jacolantern when I looked at my walls, but I have really grown to love it-honestly. it ended up being a good change and seemed to warm the house for Christmas. Here are a few pics of the change.

THIS WAS BEFORE...

THIS WAS AFTER...
My cozy booknook.....and my desk
AND HERE WAS OUR CHRISTMAS LOOK...



MAMA...OH, THIS ONE I LOVE!!!

HERE ARE MY BOYS ON OUR 12 HOUR ROAD TRIP BACK FROM MINNESOTA. WHAT A PAIR THEY ARE.
BELL LOVES THIS TUBE!!! JUST TRY AND TAKE A TURN AND IT WILL CRUSH HER. SLEDDING AT MOM AND DAD'S IN MN AT CHRISTMAS. WE SCRAMBLED TO GET ON THE ROAD BRIGHT AND EARLY FOR OUR 12 HOUR ROAD TRIP BECAUSE A STORM WAS ACOMING! AND SURE ENOUGH WE MADE IT JUST AS THE SNOW STORM HIT AND CONTINUED FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS! IT WAS GORGEOUS! PERFECT TIME TO BE SNOWED IN!
RUN LIKE THE WIND JOSIE GIRL....



AH PEACE!
MY MADI GIRL...

MY GIRLS IN THEIR CHRISTMAS JAMMIES-THEY ARE A TRADITION IN OUR HOUSE. THEY STILL LIKE HAVING MATCHING ONES, WONDER WHEN THAT WILL CHANGE. I WILL SOAK IT IN WHILE I CAN.

WE SURPRISED THE KIDS LATE ONE NIGHT AND GOT THEM OUT OF BED TO JUMP IN THE CAR AND GO SEE THE LIGHTS. ANOTHER FUN TRADITION.

THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN LAYING UNDER THE TREE AT CHRISTMAS. MATT STILL HAS VIVID MEMORIES OF FALLING ASLEEP UNDER THE TREE AS A KID. SO IT IS FUN TO SEE THE KIDS IN THEIR DREAMY STATE.
MY WEE ONES...THE TIME IS PASSING BY AND I JUST WANT TO SLOW IT DOWN. NOAH IS JUST ABOUT 3, IT IS A BIT HARD TO BE AT THE PLACE OF NO BABIES IN OUR HOME. THIS IS A FIRST FOR US. AFTER 5 KIDS IN A 9 YEAR SPAN, DIAPERS AND CRIBS AND ROCKING TO SLEEP, HAS BEEN A NORM, ONE THAT I AM DEEPLY FOND OF. I DO NOT MIND IT A BIT. I WOULD BE EX STATIC TO FIND OUT WE WERE EXPECTING, AND THEN I WOULD CRY KNOWING THE DIFFICULTY THE PREGNANCY WAS GOING TO BRING:) MY PREGNANCY WITH NOAH WAS SO VERY HARD, HARDER THAN THE ONES BEFORE. 6 MONTHS IN BED BECAUSE I WAS SO SICK AND HAD NO STRENGTH, 3 SURGERIES FOR PIC LINES TO MY HEART FOR 24 HOUR IV FLUID, A HOME NURSE TO MONITOR ALL THE MEDICAL SUPPLIES, PIC LINE, BABIES HEALTH AND MEDICATION TO GET NOAH AND I THROUGH IT, LONELINESS BEYOND WORDS, NEVER ENDING VOMITING-SERIOUSLY, AND THEN MIGRAINES. BUT! IF IT MEANT ANOTHER LITTLE LIFE IN OUR HOME-I AM THERE! I TRUST THE LORD AND HAVE SEEN THE MIRACLES OF EACH OF MY LOVELIES THAT HE CREATED AND PLANNED.


QUILT LOVER~

I have loved quilting for as long as i have been working with fabrics. All kinds. Each year I try to find one antique quilt to add to my collection. This year i found my quilt at a little antique/thrift store up in door county when Matt and i went away for our 13th anniversary. It was a white quilt with vintage fabrics. Simple and so charming. Well i did the unthinkable to most quilt collectors, I cut it up!! I just did not want to leave it folded on a shelf, i wanted to look at it every day! What i did was cut it in half and made it into curtains. Originally i had them in my living room but while i loved the look at night of them, I hated them during the day while the sun shown in. See, the quilt is white and old, which completely charmed me until the sun shown through it and spotlighted all it's flaws, stains, etc and made the colors look wrong. So , I put my old curtains back up in the living room and put the quilt up in my bedroom which i have been attempting to find and idea for anyways. I am in love with the result! The curtains are on the side of the window so the sunlight will not fade it or make it look funky. The charm me every time I walk in the room. my other window will have to wait for inspiration, but for now i like the uniqueness of each window, not everything has to match.
CREATOR~
Here are a few things I have been entertaining my creative side with over the past few months....

I just could not pass this one up at Christmas. I found this T-shirt and turned it into a throw pillow for my baby sister who's sense of humor is something I truly enjoy!
Many of you know that I LOVE working with reclaimed wool. I am always on the hunt for wool sweaters that I can felt into fabric. I began making coffee cozies this year for stocking stuffers and have now added them to the shop. These little things are ADDICTIVE! I could almost start drinking coffee just so I could use them!
There are alot in the shop for Valentine's Day too.
I began making wool throw pillows at Christmas for gifts and decided to do some for Valentine's day for the shop.


So what happens when your hobby turns into your job? Naturally you pick up a new hobby! I was so excited to open up Amanda' Soule's books for Christmas from my sweetie. And after reading through them over our Christmas break, I decided to begin working on a braided rug for our living room. My mom makes the most gorgeous crocheted rag rugs and my son does as well, but I have not taken the time to learn to crochet and actually fear learning a bit because I already have so many projects going on! But I thought doing a braided rug would be good for me. I need something to do with my hands when I sit down. The kids always wish I would sit still and watch a movie with them, but I cannot sit still very long. This is my solution. I am using a stack of jersey cotton fabric and also have found that jersey sheets work fabulous. Here is the start of it....
I did actually find that those large balls of fabric were too difficult to braid with, I would need to take up juggling as well. So I am working in smaller strips now. My Coleman has taken the balls and started his own rug and plans on making it to fit his room. He is already way ahead of me!! The jersey fabric goes a long way! I did find that the hand stitching is a bit difficult on my hands but I can do it on and off throughout the day.


Not only do I love wool sweaters, I love working with wool skirts and suit coats. I have used them before for iPOD cozies and such, but I have begun using them for messenger bags as well. I did this one for one of our sweet students that works with our Josie Bug at church.

THRIFTER~

i FOUND SOME VERY FUN NEW VINTAGE CLOTHING FOR THE SHOP .
THIS IS THE CUTEST WOOL TOP EVER! AND IT IS STILL AVAILABLE IN THE SHOP!
AND THIS CUTE SUNDRESS IN TIME FOR SUMMER

I ALSO FOUND THIS CHARMING VINTAGE BLANKET. IT HAS A PRIMITIVE PRINT ON IT AND MAKES THE MOST LOVELY BED THROW. IT IS ALL COTTON AND HAS BEEN HAND QUILTED. IT IS ALSO IN THE SHOP.
NOW THIS IS A TREASURE I FOUND FOR US AND I AM JSUT SO THANKFUL FOR THIS. FOR 2 YEARS, MATT AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO FIND A TV CABINET FOR OUR LIVING ROOM, SOMETHING THAT WE COULD CLOSE THE TV AWAY. AND OF COURSE, IT HAD TO BE EXTREMELY INEXPENSIVE. IT HAS TO HAVE CHARM, FIT EVERYTHING, BE FOUND AT A TIME THAT WE COULD TRANSPORT IT,ETC ETC-NOT TOO MANY REQUIREMENTS RIGHT? WELL, LIKE I SAID, IT TOOK 2 YEARS AND IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH WAITING! I FOUND THIS WARDROBE FOR $25.00. ORIGINALLY I THOUGHT I WOULD PAINT IT, BUT ONCE WE BROUGHT IT IN THE ROOM, WE REALIZED HOW NICELY IT MATCHED OUR OTHER FURNTIURE. THANKYOU LORD SO MUCH! THE ONLY HARD THING FOR US WAS PUTTING EVERYTHING IN IT INSTEAD OF THE KIDS USING IT TO GET TO NARNIA:)

LOVER OF JESUS....

I Have probably shared this before. I have really been challenged by john Piper. Whether it is a book he has written or a conference i have sat through. It is a challenge to really understand my purpose in life. And I have come to firmly believe my purpose is to bring glory to God. Matt shared a video with me recently that really hit home with things I have laid witness to this past month. An 11 year old little boy from our church died after falling through the ice while walking his dog. You may have even seen this on the news. Ryan was a boy full of life and he just loved people. I watched his mother attempt to grasp the fact that he was gone during his funeral. And as we drove to the burial I struggled to understand how a mother closes that tiny coffin and says goodbye to their child and continues to still breathe. I have cried to the Lord because is there anything else to do!? No words can soothe such a deep loss, every minute seems an eternity. We were just not meant to experience such loss, the Lord never intended us for that and that is why we need Him so desperately during these times! Is it not better to walk through it with Him than to go it alone? This clip from John Piper is something I long for. Will I bring Him glory no matter what happens in my life? It is a tough question. So when you see this video, you will understand why it hit home so closely. HERE IS THE LINK
And with that I will close my friends...

Letters From War...

October 25th... that was my last entry. For some reason I felt that if I sat down to write my tears would just not stop. I had so many things to say to my Grandpa and went to sleep that night anxious for my visit with him the next day. But That phone call was what woke me up that next morning. My grandpa went to be with Jesus early that morning. This has left me wordless for awhile, and I have thought many times about sharing little things here and there, especially about the Christmas season, but just couldn't clear my mind enough to share. But this morning I received a second letter from my cousin who is in Iraq fighting in the war. The first letter I received was over Christmas when we were at my family's up in Minnesota. Both of these letters carry such important messages. They can encourage and inspire anyone who reads them. Having my cousin fighting in this war has made me so much more aware of the sacrifice our soldiers make. Not only them, but their families as well! And their sacrifice, I believe, is right and just. It is not for nothing! But it does come at a price! Gabe has a wife, Lisa, and two little boys at home. And every time he is deployed, he misses the everyday things for a year! Now, I admit, I cannot relate even remotely. So when I saw Lisa over Christmas, I asked her if it is harder at this time of year with him gone and she said, no, it is hard to not have him here for the everyday things. She just wants him here at night especially. And I spoke with Gabe for only a brief minute or two as the phone was passed around at our family Christmas get together and it was a reminder that I need to try much harder to support them.

Gabe has sent two letters and I thought I would share them with you. His words are so well thought out and well spoken. I have deeply appreciated these and I am so proud of him.

LETTERS FROM WAR....


10TH WEEK-CHRISTMAS~

Family and Freedom. These two things are foremost in my mind, especially today. Today, we celebrate the birth of our savior Jesus the Christ. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the commercialization of the holiday that we loose sight of this real meaning. It is with Jesus to whom we belong to a greater family and we owe our Freedom to him. Not a freedom from government oppression or slavery but a freedom from eternal death; a freedom from want; a freedom that nothing in this world can take away from us.

The definition of Christian is of being like Christ. If Jesus came to save the oppressed, then is it not our duty to do the same? I am not calling the war we are in a religious one but the parallels to living a Christian life are glaring. I say that this war, as ugly as it may be, serves the oppressed and the wanting. These people, throughout the world, have lived under the heavy hand of slave drivers and dictators and know little else but that life. To give a family their freedom, that means a lot to me. I would hope that there is enough good in this world that if my family and I were ever in that situation, that someone would have the intestinal fortitude to free us.

I fight in this war because I know it to be right, regardless of politics and other things. I know of people, whom I have helped directly, that no longer fear; that no longer want; that they have a chance to be a family. I fight in this war for my own family. To Lisa, Joshua and James - Guys, I am far away in a dangerous place doing dangerous work but I want you to know that I (We) are not selfish. We believe in something bigger than ourselves and are prepared to give every last drop of our blood in it's defense; Life, Love and Liberty. These wishes are not American but of all who want freedom.

Let us give thanks on this Christmas day for our freedom both earthly and eternally. Do not let this Christmas season go by without really looking at yourself and the world around you and see the good. Sometimes it is hard to find it but I ask each and everyone of you to look at the good around you and use that to motivate your actions. It's hard here but we all do that. It would be a long deployment if we were to dwell on the bad. Live fully; love deeply; and bring freedom to those who do not. God Bless all of you on this Christmas!

Gabriel



11TH WEEK-NEW YEARS EVE~

Today is New Year's Eve and we are on the threshold of a new decade. I think we were supposed to have flying cars by now right? To me, this new year and new decade bring with it both a sense of uncertainty and hope. Who knows what the world will be like in the coming 10 years? Will be fall deeper in to chaos and war or will we, as a global family, begin to heal those wounds that have long scared our histories?

I have hope. I have seen the true nature of man and have hope that the intentions of the good outweigh the intentions of evil. There is a quote I often use to remind myself of the resolve of well intentioned men: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke. Mr. Burke's contention is simple; so long as good men are willing to fight, evil has no chance of establishing it's permanence on earth.

I have seen good men fight and die for what is right and have seen the end of evil's life on several occasions. It brings me hope, not that we use force per se, but that there are those within this world who are willing to give up that which we hold so dear; our lives. It brings me hope seeing that there are those who are willing to set aside our differences and start fresh with a sense of tolerance and forgiveness.

Forgiveness. A word most of us are familiar with but, admittedly, used sparingly. I am no more perfect than anyone else but it has become blatantly obvious that without forgiveness, there can be no healing. Some reading this may not be Christians but forgiveness is not necessarily a Christian concept. Jesus taught us that we must forgive. For those of us who claim Christianity, how can we if we chose not to follow in those footsteps?

In this New Year, let us be mindful of the true meaning and practice of forgiveness. The world will be a better place and 'good men' will prevail against evil not through force but by love.




Thank you Gabe for reminding us to live with purpose that is beyond serving ourselves! Thank you for your sacrifice, for your bravery, for your passion and love for others in need, and thank you for bringing our family into this war which I also believe is right. All my love! Mandy

In His Steps

There has been a battle waging in my thoughts recently more than ever before. A question of "Do I really get what it means to live for Christ?" I have been asking the Lord to open my eyes to ways of life that I have been selfish in, or somehow have justified as being deserved. I have even begun to really wonder if the "American" dream or lifestyle has become a cage for the Christian and the church. What real blessings have we missed out from giving everything to the Lord. To putting our money where it counts! I have totally missed the boat on this one! And today as I read this passage below from the old book "In His steps", to my girls, I just lost it and wept, and then I read it to my husband and son when they got home from camp, and I wept again and poured out my heart to Matt a bit later. Matt and i read this book together with the staff the summer we worked as Lead Counselors at Shaminaeu just after we had gotten married. The book had gained a new popularity with the "What Would Jesus Do" slogun. The book did effect me some, but now as I read it again aloud to my kids, it hits so hard at a time when that area of my life needs a drastic overhaul.

Here is the passage that stirs me, it is coming from a man who is homeless, jobless, and has suffered great loss. He is standing before a church congregation at the end of a sermon about following Jesus. This is a congregation full of comfortable people, people with good stature in the community and even a preacher who has maybe forgotten a bit about who Jesus is and what our purpose here should be. I unfortunately could fit into this bunch a bit too often, and am greived by this. For this I am so sorry.






"I have been wondering since I came here, if it would be just the thing to say a word at the close of this service. I'm not drunk and I'm not crazy, and I'm perfectly harmless; but if I die, as there is every likelihood I shall in a few days, I want the satisfaction of thinking that I said my say in a place like this, and before this sort of crowd."

I'm not an ordinary tramp, though I don't know of any teachings of Jesus that makes one kind of a tramp less worth saving than the other. Do you? I lost my job ten months ago. I am a printer by trade. The new linotype machines are beautiful specimens of inventions, but I know six men who have killed themselves inside the year just on account of those machines. Of course, i do not blame the newspapers for getting the machines. Meanwhile, what can a man do? I know I never learned but one trade, and that's all I can do. I've tramped all over this country trying to find something. There are a good many others like me. I'm not complaining, am I? Just stating facts. But I was wondering, as I sat under the gallery, if what you call following Jesus is the same thing that He taught. What did he mean when he said, 'Follow me?' The minster said that it was necessary for the disciple of Jesus to follow in His steps, and he said the steps were obediance, faith, love, and imitation.But I did not hear him tell you just what he meant that to mean, especially the last step. What do you Christians mean by following the steps of Jesus? I've tramped through this city for three days trying to find a job, and in all that time I've not had a word of sympathy or comfort except from your minister here, who said he was sorry for me and hoped I would find a job somewhere. I suppose it is because you get so imposed on by the professional tramp that you have lost your interest in the other sort. I'm not blaming anybody, am I? Just stating facts. Of course, I understand you can't go out of your way to hunt jobs for people like me. I'm not asking you to, but what i feel puzzled about is, what is meant by following Jesus? What do you mean when you sing, "I'll go with him, with him all the way." Do you mean that you are suffering and denying yourselves and trying to save the lost, suffering humanity just as I understand Jesus did? What do you mean by it? I see the ragged edge of things a good deal. I understand there are more than 500 men in this city in my case. Most of them have families. My wife died four months ago. I'm glad she is out of trouble. My little girl is staying with a printers family until I find a job. Somehow I get puzzled when I see so many Christians living in luxury and singing, "Jesus. I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow thee,' and remember how my wife died in a tenement in New York City gasping for air, and asking God to take the little girl too. Of course I don't expect you people can prevent everyone from dying of starvation, lack of proper nourishment, and tenemant air, but what does following Jesus mean? I understand that Christian people own a good many tenemants. Amember of a church was owner of the one where my wife died, and I have wondered if following Jesus all the way was true in his case. I heard some people singing at a church prayer meeting the other night

'All for Jesus, all for Jesus, All my being's ransomed powers; All my thoughts and all my doings, All my days and all my hours.'

and I kept wondering as I sat outside on those steps just what they meant by it. It seems to me there is an awful lot of trouble in the world that somehow wouldn't exsist if all the people who sing such songs went and lived them out. I suppose I don't understand. But what would Jesus do? Is that what you mean by following in His steps. It seems to me sometimes as if the people in the big churches had ggod clothes and nice houses to live in, and money to spend for luxuries, and could go away for summer vacations and all that, while the people outside the churches, thousands of them, I mean, die in tenemants and walk the streets for jobs, and never have a piano or picture in the house, and grow up in misery and drunkeness and sin. " -Charles M Sheldon(In His Steps)
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Here is what I do believe.... Jesus is still the ONLY one, the ONLY way who can make change happen and heal the ills of this world, not christians. But we, as christians can sure follow his example better and be a tool for his purpose and plan! Maybe we need to take a harder look at what it means to follow in his steps! Just thought I would share something a bit more personal tonight, didn't really feel like I could lay my head down on my pillow to sleep without sharing the stirring in my soul today. Goodnight my lovely family, friends, and customers, you are all a blessing to me!