This morning, Matt and I left early to go spend some time at the hospital with my Grandmother, who at 82 just had her appendix out!! After that I ran a quick errand on the way home and got home in time to feed the kids lunch. After lunch I needed to make up some large dishes of lasagna to feed some bands coming in to play at church tonight for our Sr Highers. I headed back out the door to drop them off at church and was very much looking forward to returning home and spending some quality time with my kiddos-the week has been busy and emotional and I just really needed to take a good long look at the kids and love on them, but on the way home, something happened. As I was sitting at a light, all of the sudden I got smacked from behind, talk about waking me up! And as I turned to see what happened, I see this young woman, on the phone , pull around me, blow past me and run the light to get away. And she did, there was nothing I could do, the light was red and there was not a single thing I could do but watch her drive off, scott free from any responsability or consequence! And trust me, I attempted to drive for awhile in the direction she went, hoping to get her plate number, I kept playing the event over and over trying to remember her license plate number, wishing I had taken a picture with my phone, on and on. Those thoughts played over and over to the beating of my wild heart:) I was not far from home, so I just went home to survey the damage. She had busted out my brake lights, and left a lovely reminder of the color of her car permenantely etched in mine. After spending time on the phone with my husband, police dept, and insurance company, I could take a breath and think. But I will have to go in and file a report in the morning, and I will be without a vehicle until we can figure out how to fix the brake lights, and one way or another we will have to physically pay for the damage she has done to our van. So, with all of that, what word do you think keeps running across my lips, my mind, my angry heart....INJUSTICE. This is just so unjust so unfair!! Why in the world should I have to pay for someone elses mistake, fault, sin-evilness----sigh. It could drive a person looney thinking on that too long and I can bet many of you have faced things like that or worse that have left you feeling just beaten down by the injustices you have been dealt in life.
But, I really hate when anger begins to raise the temp of my body so a good cry can do so much in releasing that but only temporarily, soon the frustration comes knocking on my mind again, and I allow thoughts to repeat like a broken record, even if there never is a good result. I began to think alright, Lord, what is it you need to teach me, what is it that will make this ache, this hurt, this anger fade. And with that running across my mind, I caught a glimpse of something precious to me. Something that already has become a reminder of grace and mercy in my life. it was this.
A pair of rusty, weathered, crude, iron spikes. They are meant to serve as a reminder of the most important event that has ever occured in our world's history. They are a reminder of the "INJUSTICE" that Jesus faced when He died carrying the sins of every person on this earth in order to save us from an eternity apart from Him. Can you even begin to imagine taking on the horrifying torment that He took on when He was nailed to the cross-and He knew no sin!!! He was in no way responsible-He was perfect, pure, righteous-something none of us can ever claim! And on top of that He did it willingly. Well...when I began to wrap my thoughts around that, when I choose to stop pondering on the poor me and start pondering on the gift I was handed freely by the God who created EVERYTHING and wants me as His daughter, wants to make me pure...well, the "injustice" I faced today seems pretty silly in comparison! And honestly it feels pretty good to just let it go(and I am going to attempt to keep all of that at the front of my brain when I pull out my checkbook to pay for the damages:)LOL)
And even beyond that, there is a verse that came to mind-which I believe is exactly why the Lord wants us to "hide His Word in our heart." It is from the Lord's Prayer-Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. He expects us to do the same as He has done. So if He can forgive us-I think I should be willing to forgive as well-and I am working on that one:) Looking forward to the peace it will bring. And I will sleep more soundly tonight knowing that He wanted to teach me today of Himself and that I have been offered a priceless gift despite the "injustice" of what my sin cost Him.
Those nails or spikes in the photo, were found on Matt and I's Anniversary get away last week. We spent some time treasure hunting in antique and thrift stores on our way up to the cabin. I found these buried under some junk. A dollar a piece but to me worth gold. They appear to be old railroad spikes, but immediately when I came across them, I thought of Jesus-what cruelty to have your hands and feet nailed to a tree. When I showed them to the kids, knowing full well they would be a priceless object lesson, Joslyn said, oh, it makes my tummy hurt to think of that going through Jesus' hands and feet. I have laid these spikes out for us to see everyday as we pass through the living room. The kids cannot help but to pick them up and feel them, study them, and it always brings up questions of Jesus. I feel as though it is the best and closest thing next to feeling Jesus' actual wounds. I love those nails deeply, and I think they would be the first thing I would grab if our house were on fire, because I need that reminder every day, every hour, every minute!
