Saturday, December 3, 2011

To My Sweet Little One...

Sweet Little One growing inside me, I have dreamed of you forever but never knew I would have the chance to meet you someday. You are the seventh child I always wanted. You have 2 charming brothers and 3 beautiful sisters, and one sibling in the arms of Jesus we look forward to meeting some day together, all of us. There is so much I want to tell you and your brothers and sisters. See, I get really sick in order to bring you into this world. I have always dreamed of waiting for my babes with energy and health, but Jesus just made me different, and I trust Him for this even when it makes me really sad. Today has been a hard day, and I know that it is not going to change for quite awhile. I was feeling really scared about the days ahead, I was not wanting your brothers and sisters to struggle and feel alone because I am sick, and Jesus whispered an idea in my heart. You are so small right now, I cannot feel you kicking yet, the 34 weeks until you get here seem so far away, and sometimes it is hard to remember what the suffering is for, so I thought that if I write you and let you know how much you are loved, then maybe that hope will continue to help these days pass.

I heard your heartbeat yesterday for the first time, I was overwhelmed at the sound. No matter how many times I have had a child growing in me, it never becomes ordinary or common, it is truly amazing, and there is an instant and unexplainable love that comes from hearing your tiny little heart beating. God is forming you and knows all of your days already and He is protecting you from the storm waging outside my womb. I know He has a plan for you and I am the tool to bring you life, so I have no question of the worth in the pain. I do wish for deliverance from it often and do get discouraged and even wonder why the suffering is necessary, but I know He is in control and with me through it.

We are anxious to meet you, the days will not go fast enough. We are so grateful to the Lord for the gift of your life. Love Your Mama


  1. Continued prayers for you, amanda, and your family. I have seven children here...and one with the Lord also. He does bless us, doesn't He?

  2. praying daily for you, my sweet sister :)