"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" Isaiah 40:29
Each day that passes feels like such an accomplishment right now. Life has been very stripped down for us. A little sad at Christmas time, but we keep remembering it is just for a season. We have seen the Lord's blessings begin to rain down which makes us feel like we can make it. Our wonderful church family has covered us with meals in the evenings. For Matt, that is huge! He loves to cook, but when he is working, being Mr Mom, and seeing to all the medical daily care for me, time for cooking seems to elude him-imagine that:)
Saturday was a good day for me, at least until the evening. I was able to go 48 hours with no vomiting, so Sat afternoon, I was actually able to eat a meal-oh wow, does food taste good when there is a lack of nausea. Matt grabbed me a sandwich from Panera-when I have the ability to eat, there is usually a very strong craving that goes along with it. But by the evening, those 48 hours of freedom was over. I had a very rough night and Sunday was horrible. It was another day of tears and unrelenting vomiting. I had been so hoping to be up and around when the kids got home from my parents. It was so good to see them and have them home again.
But today seems to be another mild day. I am far from 100%, but I am more than happy to be at 80%. Sat at the breakfast table with the family, took a shower(heaven), and have held down one of Matt's wonderful pancakes. Monday mornings are our big family breakfasts, since Matt is off. The kids are enjoying the day and happy to be home. Matt was able to go visit one of our kids from church who is having some pretty serious surgery this morning. And my nurse has already been here to redress my PICC line sight. The redressing is both painful and soothing all in one. Unfortunately the cleaning tends to burn, but it also soothes the skin irritation as well. We will hopefully only need one nurse visit a week now. Matt is able to handle all of the care except the redressing. I work with a pharmacy who delivers all of the meds and supplies. Noah was quite sure that when all the boxes arrived the first time, that there were puppies in them(wouldn't that be nice!) Not exactly the presents you expect under the tree;).
On Friday I was blessed to have two letters arrive snail mail style. They arrived just before I had to go into the hospital to see if the baby was still alive. Talk about God's timing!! Letters of such encouragement and hope, so thankyou my sweet friends for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit-they were a "God Thing"!!
Lora, my sweet friend from Eager Hands made the most beautiful necklace of Hope for me. The two leaves represent healing (Rev 22:2) as well as being a symbol of baby and me.The emerald represents healing and new life. She believes the pearl represents how the Lord sees me and the purity of my heart that He now sees in me. She hammered the pendant to represent 2 Cor 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but do not despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." I was so blessed to wear this as I sat and waited at the hospital to see if our little babe was still with us. Thank you Lora, for a tangible and beautiful reminder of how precious it is to trust in the Lord during these trials! The Lord has given you such an amazing gift!!
My sweet sister Nicole, who lives too far away(Seattle) has blessed me with an early Christmas gift. She ordered the entire series of Dr Quinn, Medicine women on DVD. The minutes and hours can pass ever so slowly on my really hard days, and the TV can be a blessing and distraction, but I need to be so very careful of my choices of what to watch. For a spirit that is already discouraged, watching despair, violence, etc is not a good medicine! So these shows will offer hope. Nik has also taken on the job of buying Matt's stocking stuffers for me. I just need to get a list to her. She had helped me with this in my pregnancy with Noah as well. Such a huge gift since I cannot go out shopping. Thank you sis!! You are a lifesaver!!
My prayer today is that we can take the kiddos for a drive tonight to look at Christmas lights. A tradition I hope not to have to skip this year!! Praying that I will have strength for it. We have simple goals these days!