A Masterpiece to Cherish...

This past year has been a difficult year physically. I have not shared much outside of a few close friends and even then health issues were a mystery and difficult to figure out let alone explain. So after more struggle these past few days, a string of Drs appointments begin tomorrow for me. The first being an EKG and 24 hour Holt monitor to determine what has been going on with my heart these past 6 months. Part of me hoping they find something to explain this year, but also hoping it is not serious at the same time. Life has been so "stop and go" for me- working hard when I am feeling well because there is no telling how long that will last, which also means the same for the kiddos and Matt. I went through it again yesterday and today. We had been to church in the morning, I was great, spent the afternoon outside in the back yard and smack! It hit me like a truck in the middle of working in the garden. I was doubled over in pain within a few minutes and it has taken me all of today to recoup from it. Well tonight Matt helped me run the errands I needed to. I wasn't sure I could do the driving and all the walking, so he was my comfort and help. With his help, I accomplished what needed to be done. We even managed to slip in our Monday night dinner out together which I hate missing now that our kiddos are getting older and it is difficult to find time to talk and be alone together. When we returned home, I found this beautiful masterpiece in my room. It had been made by my daughter madison after she had put the younger kiddos to bed.

It read...

Dear Momma,

I could travel the entire world,

top to bottom,

core to crust,

ground to heavens,

and not find a greater mom than you.

I love you, get well soon.

Now I am far from the perfect mom,

and struggle so often

and the older the kiddos get, the more I know they see my flaws,

but oh how I treasure things such as this that is so not deserved!

I have learned from difficult pregnancies and the inability to care for my kiddos the way I wanted to during them, that the Lord has a plan for each of us and will not leave us during those hard times. We will get through and will do our best to make the most out of it. And my children will grow and have joy even when mama is not 100%.

Just to Let You Know...

Hello my friends, my family and my creative customers! I just thought I would share a bit and let you know about life this next week.

I do not think anyone is ever prepared to say their goodbyes to a loved one and no matter how much you know it is inevitable, it still sneaks up on us and leaves us struck. I have been blessed to have Grandparents who have been alive to see my marriage and the birth of my five kiddos, but time is now showing itself as the enemy and this week it has brought with it the reality that it is time to start saying my goodbyes. My Grandpa is in his final days and I am struggling with the loss of time to spend with him. So many questions and so many things to say. But, it will now have to wait and I know he is so anxious to be with Jesus. I am excited for him but sad for us. I am aching for my Grandma who doesn't want to be far behind him. I went and sat this afternoon in his hospital room with my family and enjoyed the time talking and listening, happy to have had the grandpa I do, but so wishing this was not the last days. I brought a little stack of letters he had written to me while I was in college. I had always loved listening to him tell stories of his growing up and when I was in school I asked him to write them for me. I wish I had been in college longer so that I had more of those stories captured in letters. But this next week, I am hoping to go and sit with him some more, as much as time will allow and as many days as the Lord will give. So, If it takes awhile for me to get back to you, I just want you to know why. I will have to sneak my times in when Matt is home with the kids since I cannot take all my lovelies with me. I still have things to say even though he cannot talk back. Families always have tough stuff in their legacy but they almost always have blessings that are worth clinging too and really appreciating. I most treasure my Grandpas story of how he met Jesus as a young adult and I think that is the most powerful legacy he has left behind for all of us. One I will be eternally grateful for. It is a time of sadness, but I came home from the hospital this afternoon and found myself so much more alive and grateful for what the Lord has blessed me with. I was so content to just chase my little ones around the house laughing and felt an ease and joy that has been struggling to get out lately. So, I find myself so thankful to our God for His gift of life, for His gift of family, and for His gift of Eternity with Him. My Mom would say "Life is hard, but God is Good!" If you think about it this week, I would greatly appreciate it if you would pray for my family, my Grandma, who has spent 60 years with him, pray for comfort in the end days, and healing in the family.