Time to be Transparent...

I have been mulling this over in my mind trying to decide if I am ready to share what I am still attempting to process and accept. And since you are reading this, you know what my choice is, it is time to share-time to be transparent. As many of you had read earlier this week, I shared briefly how I have been struggling with illness this past year, but the cause has been a mystery. I have been to the Drs a few times to try and figure it out, but nothing was showing up to explain the extreme exhaustion that had left me sick feeling so often. It was difficult sometimes to not struggle with the mental questions of "is it all in my head" or "am I just a big wimp!" But my prayer became "Lord, help me to recognize symptoms that can be clearly shared with the Dr." This week was the Lord's timing for these things to come to light. I am so thankful for an explanation but I am grappling with the lifelong diagnoses and trying to "rest" in Him. I was diagnosed with a heart condition called tachycardia and will need to take medication for the remainder of life from what I understand at this point. Basically my heart never rests, The 24 hour heart monitoring I went through showed that I do not have a resting rate ever, even when I am sleeping (and let me say, that was minus caffeine or any other stimulants.) My lower heart chambers are in turn also beating before my upper chambers making the flip flop sensation I have been experiencing multiple times a hour.

My first question as difficult as it was, did I cause this-diet, not enough exercise, stress. Answer was --NO, but do I need to be mindful of all of those-OH YES, especially now!!! I am going to have to make some lifestyle changes to stay as healthy as possible. The good thing about that is, I should now have the energy and hope to do that! Wahoo! What a difference I am looking forward to!!

I am finding comfort and courage and HOPE in this piece of scripture which I was blessed to receive via text from my Dad just before I went in for my Drs appointment. It was so good to sit in the car with my Bible and hear from the Lord while so much was on my mind.

2 Cor 4 16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I will now be laying some of my sorrows surrounding this at His feet but also be remembering the blessings poured out for me. I appreciate the heart God has given me and how hard it has been working in me. I dare not take it for granted. I appreciate my Dr and how she has worked along side me and listened carefully to my concerns and struggles. Today is a good day and tomorrow will be better! What a relief for my soul. Just thought I would share!