Saturday, March 7, 2009

My Sweet, My Lovely......

February and March are the celebration months in our home. Five out of our seven birthdays as well as our Anniversary fall into these two blessed months. Just as we catch our breath from Christmas, we begin pulling out the Birthday crowns and banners. We end up with a little bit more cake than any of us really care for, we get to reflect on all the blessings the Lord has given to us, and my hearts tends to ache just a little bit more than usual with how fast the kids are growing. I have grown to be quite fond of it though, I love giving gifts so in some ways it ends up being the way to maybe give a gift to one of the kids I didn't have time to do at Christmas even though I really wanted to. It adds some fun to these long and drawn out cold winter months. And we sure do eat a lot of yummy birthday meals!

Today was my Bell's 4th birthday. She is our fourth child and is the youngest of our three girls. She has been my miracle and there is a unique bond I have with her because when she was only four weeks old, we thought we could possibly lose her. I found a lump on her sweet little head. I will never forget sitting in the doctors office while the doctor looked at this mass. The doctor's face was of great concern instead of assurance that it was nothing to be worried about. She was not sure of what it was, and so we began a bunch of different tests and waiting....waiting...waiting....

This is a small portion of a letter I wrote to Bell that day.

"From the moment you were hidden inside of me, the Lord has used different circumstances to remind me what an incredible gift you are to us from Himself. What a gift each new morning is that I awake to your quiet fussing.

This week I found a small mass on the top of your head. Today I took you to your doctor so hoping she would tell me it was of no concern. But as I watched her face as she checked you, I realized it was not going to be that.

My sweet little girl, I cannot even to tell you the ache my heart felt, my tears just kept coming, even still, they run endlessly. On my way to the hospital I called your daddy to meet us there. His heart was aching too.

As I waited in the hospital, I could not even get the words out to the Lord, it was too hard, but I knew He was with us and that He knew my mind and heart and that you belonged to Him!"

We did go through different tests to find out that this mass had not invaded the brain, but it would be awhile till we were able to meet with one of the leading brain surgeons in the country to find out that it was a simple hemangioma and would eventually disappear on it's own. It did take awhile for me not to worry every time I rubbed her sweet head especially as it grew in size quite quickly. But as her 2nd birthday came around and that was when it was supposed to begin to make an exit, I found that I had become quite fond of this little feature. It had become a part of her. Her hair had grown in over it and it actually gave her hairdo a sweet little lift! Well, it still is a part of my Bell, and this past year was the first she ever even paid any attention to it. She does not view it as anything bad, it is unique to her and she will from time to time like to talk about it. It will remain a reminder to me long after it is gone, that the God who created us and knows each detail, walks through each hardship with us too. I am so thankful I was able to run to His arms about this little child who He loved even more than I did! She is His, and each day with her is a gift!

Last night, Matt and I stayed up way too late putting together a video of Bell. We have started making these slide shows for each of the kids to chronicle their lives. It has blessed Matt and I more than the kids, of this I am sure! I almost do not like sifting through all the memories though because the day is drawing nearer to when I will have to let them go. Those early pictures of each of them, their newness, the simplicity, the peace-it has slipped away too quickly. I want to soak it up.

Here is a glimpse of some of the pics of Bell growing up.

My Sweet, My Lovely.....

I tiptoe Hush Hush....
Pitter pat goes my heart....

Your Beauty

Your Innocence

Joy is found with every kiss

My sweet, my lovely
My sweet, my lovely
So sweet so lovely

Close your eyes
Close your eyes
Close your eyes
Close your eyes

I stare into the bluest eyes

Time stands still in your smile

You weren't here,
and now you're here

I dreamed of you

But I never knew.....

How Sweet, How Lovely.....

The song was froma lullabye album of Plumb's called Blink(quite appropriately). My husband got it for me for Valentine's Day. PERFECT! When I heard this song, I knew it was perfect for Bell.


  1. God is oh so good. You have a beautiful family. Thanks for sharing them.

  2. Thank you so much Janet! The Lord IS good!!! May He bless your day! Mandy

  3. Beautiful pictures and a precious story...isn't it amazing how much He loves us?